Perfection to D is quite essential

I have thought a lot lately about films. Whether making them or watching them two things about their creation ultimately strike me.

1. it’s a lot of work
2. What pleases one person will not necessarily please another.

I have spent a great deal of time in my life arguing, debating, interpreting, praising, panning and critiquing films. Ultimately, my opinion is no more or less valid than anyone else's. What constitutes excellence to me very likely means bollocks to someone else. The inverse is also very likely to be true. Film, like any art, truly relies on the opinions of the beholder. With that having been said, I think some "truths" are still out there. Ben Hur is epic, Hitchcock was pretty good, and Jessica Biel is a lousy but really hot actress. So if we can all agree on those points there is something I want to touch on.

Perfection. From what I can gather it's an impossibility. A film might be excellent, genius, ground breaking on life changing, but perfect is not an attainable quality. I think it boils down to a pretty simple idea. Sustainability. It may be possible to have a perfect snapshot, moment or sentiment, but maintaining a balance between theme, characterization, pacing, tension and artistry over the course of two hours or more is beyond any expectation. That's not to say that people don't try. It's certainly a worthwhile goal and I applaud those who truly attempt it. No one has ever gotten there however, and no one ever will. Sometimes people come pretty close, and that is what I am going to talk about.

This all may seem petty, niggling or even nit-picky. Fair enough, it is. I am going to nitpick over some minor points in some of the greatest films of all time. Why? Because like the wise man once answered the question of why we climb the mountain, because it is there.
Before anyone starts in let me make a point. I have never achieved anything remotely as impressive or noteworthy as any of these films. Each one of these is a recognized classic. Personally I love every one of these films. Each is a masterwork and stands as a monument to how good filmmaking can be. That said, each dropped the ball at least once. Coming from a guy who relies on actors with sombreros and fake mustaches to play evil robots, I know what I am talking about.

Warning!!! Spoiler alert!! If you haven't seen these old movies yet, quit screwin' around and get on it!

1. The Godfather- 1972

Why it's nearly perfect-

To begin with, the cast is excellent. Brando, Pacino, Duvall, Caan. They all are perfectly cast and play their parts with absolute precision. The movie is epic, sprawling and balances glamour and beauty with the dirty world of mafia life. All modern gangster movies draw from this film for good reason. The lines are memorable, the cinematography is grand and the images are timeless. Really, who looks at horses the same way after seeing this film?

Where they dropped the ball-

Ok, Sonny (James Caan) gets pissed at Marco (Some guy) because Marco beats his wife (Talia Shire) who happens to be Sonny's sister. Sonny tracks down Marco and proceeds to severely attack the air surrounding Marco but never actually Marco himself. Seriously. Francis Ford Coppola who went on to direct many other films including a few where fights look plausible (the outsiders for effin sake) , gave us a pro wrestling level fight scene in an otherwise impeccable film. Anyone, and I mean anyone, can film a basic fight scene.

Rule one: Place the camera behind who is getting punched.

Rule two: When slamming a trash can onto a person, have the can actually hit them.
That right there is enough to fix the scene. Or cut it and show a really badly beaten Marco and infer the action. Either way, the scene bugs me every time.

2. The Sting- 1973

Why it is nearly perfect-

Three words Shaw, Newman, Redford. Newman is great as the old time conman. Redford is great as the young guy learning the ropes. Shaw is great as the ruthless gangster who gets ripped off. It’s beautiful, funny and slick before slick movies were made. It won several awards and stands as an excellent film.

Where they dropped the ball-

Redford meets a girl in a cafe who turns out to be a hitman. Er..hitwoman....Um, hitperson? Anyway. She works there, he likes her but she's going to kill him. Fortunately this does not happen and everything turns out well.

So let's see. She is a noteworthy hitman who just happens to work in the restaurant that Redford just happens to go into because it happens to be next to the hotel he is staying in. Wow, what a coincidence! Not to mention how strange it must have been for the owners of the restaurant to come in one day and find a new girl working the register.

"Did you hire her?"

"No, I thought you did."

"I'd ask her to leave but remember how she left in the middle of her shift and shot that guy?"

"Yeah, best leave it alone. It's ok, she'll probably be dead by the end of the movie anyway."

It's a pretty big plot hole. Plus she doesn't look like Redford's type if you catch my drift. Not to be overly critical, but if you want to give the appearance of someone being bewitched by a lady, don't have that lady look like a man.

3. Citizen Kane- 1941

Why it is nearly perfect-

What can you say here? This movie is consistently voted the top American film of all time. Wonderfully written, acted, directed and produced. So good job Orson Welles on all counts. Welles took aim at William Randolph Hurst and skewered him pretty good. Just getting the film made and in theaters with Hurst as an enemy was impressive enough. It's a shame that its true place in film history wasn't recognized until far after its release.

Where they dropped the ball-

Welles has a musical number where he sings and dances. I repeat. Welles sings and dances in this impromptu musical scene. It makes no sense. I mean did everyone in the restaurant just know the words, or had the rehearsed before in case Kane came in? Or, when a song is so good does it just come to people through divine intervention? And if there is such a thing as divine intervention wouldn't it have told Welles that he was going to look like a horse's ass?

4. Dr. Strangelove- 1964

Why it is nearly perfect-

I could go on for days about this film. It is perhaps the finest comedy of all time, written and directed by one of the greatest directors of all time. George C. Scott is unbelievable, and Peter Sellers is flawless plying all three of his roles. The dialog is sharp, the script edgy and the social commentary is biting. Some of the most memorable lines in movie history are in here. While modern comedy relies so much on base level jokes and fart noises, this film weaves excellent dialog and performances together to make a truly funny and timeless masterpiece.

Where they dropped the ball-

The coke machine. The damn coke machine. Perfect before, perfect after but the coke machine is so.....cornbally? Slapsticky? Hokey? Any of these will do. A great scene gets sidetracked by an instant that does not fit. And it was so close.

5. Schindler's List - 1993

Why it is nearly perfect-

It is nearly flawless. It is a brutal, unflinching heart wrenching look at what life was like for Jews in work camps. The imagery, historical importance and sheer anguish of this film made it an instant classic and recipient of a zillion awards. There is something to be said about a 3 1/2 hour film that is almost entirely depressing that still makes you want to see it over and over again.

Where they dropped the ball-

In the home stretch. Schindler (Liam Neeson) receives a ring as a token of esteem from the workers in his factory. He had basically saved all of their lives at great risk to himself both financially and physically. We could sense his emotion and the emotion of all of the workers. The gift was a small but touching tribute to a man who did a great thing despite great opposition. And he.......drops it. Unnaturally drops it to the ground for no other reason than to show how much he cares by frantically searching the ground for it. Pointless, redundant schmaltz. That's what it was. The scene was perfect and someone had to belabor the point and ultimately diminish it. He was 5 minutes away from a perfect film and he missed a layup.

So there you go. Nitpicking at its finest. I'm sure I will have disagreement. Actually I count on it. Let me hear ya. I just summarized about 20 academy awards into a few sentences of petty quibbles. That's a good day’s work in my book. Some day when I have a near perfect film I expect nothing less than this sort of hair splitting. Until then.......